Coining a nickname in sports is always hit-or-miss.
Sometimes, when a sports commentator comes up with a moniker, fans love it in an instant like pancit canton. It sticks ‘til the end of time.
Conversely, there are also instances when a newly minted alias flops. It just won’t register no matter how many times it gets repeated on air.
This brings us to this gray area wherein a bunch of PBA nicknames that made little to no sense worked. Yep, these cagers and their awkward sobriquets really became as inseparable as champorado and tuyo.
The Saint - Ronald Tubid
In his 16-year PBA career, Tubid was mostly assigned to defend the opposing team’s best wing scorer. Accomplishing his mission by any means necessary was his thing. He hardly played like a saint but people say he looks a lot like Filipino holy man St. Pedro Calungsod.
It was more than enough for the rough and rugged swingman to be known as The Saint. Even though he's the opposite of one.
The Hawk - Bong Hawkins
Hawkins did a lot of things during his playing days in the PBA. He won 10 championships, including nine with the Alaska franchise, and scored a ton in the process. What he didn’t do was jump higher than a 90-year-old with osteoporosis.
The 90s legend didn’t glide in the air like a hawk to get buckets. He mainly operated in the midrange and below the rim, confusing defenders with a hundred pivot moves before hitting that “ilista mo na” bank shot. But because you can’t spell Hawkins without "hawk," Bong The Hawk it is.
El Aparador - Joel Dualan
Dualan was a heavyweight cager but he was no slouch. He wouldn’t have been picked 10th overall in the 1998 PBA Draft by the Formula Shell Zoom Masters if he wasn’t any good.
His nickname El Aparador, however, turned into some sort of running joke, not only in the PBA but also in Philippine basketball culture. Real talk, 99.9% of chubby dudes across the land who love to hoop have surely been referred to as El Aparador at one point or another.
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Mr. President - Gabe Norwood
Former United States President Barack Obama may have been the most popular person on Earth during his first term starting in 2009. Around that period, Norwood was also buzzing in the PBA.
When he started showing out in the league, Obama continued his reign as one of the world’s most famous individuals. Where is this going, exactly?
Put simply, Norwood was anointed Mr. President just because the timing was right and he slightly—like razor-thin slightly—looked like Obama. Forget his hoops prowess, Gabe was Mr. President just because.
The Anay - Rudy Lingganay
The former UE Red Warrior was a feisty guard whose fearlessness and tenacious play allowed him to stay in the PBA for six years. From 2011 to 2017, he suited up for the Powerade Tigers, GlobalPort Batang Pier, Kia Sorento, NLEX Road Warriors, and TNT KaTropa.
But despite his reputation as a tough and serviceable cager, his moniker, The Anay, sounded like what a grade school bully would tease him with.
Was his pesky defense comparable to how termites eat their way into destroying wooden structures? Maybe. Was it because “anay” rhymes with Lingganay? Absolutely!
Did we miss any? Don’t worry, we might have a volume two pretty soon.
(PM)