Time to bust out the cliche that the Final Four is the time to bust out the cliches! This will separate the men from the boys! Throw away the statistics! It's all about giving 110% effort! Baby, baby, you're my sun and moon / Girl, you're everything between / A lot of pretty faces could waste my time, but you're my dream girl!
The UP Fighting Maroons versus the Ateneo Blue Eagles. The De La Salle Green Archers versus the NU Bulldogs. It doesn’t get any better than that! Well, it does, if you’re from a different school apart from those four.
But that’s the Final Four cast in UAAP Season 86. Take it or leave it (look, another cliche!).
There are many numbers to dissect that will tell the story of the pair of skirmishes. A deep dive into the rosters will show key matchups. Breaking down their sets will show the strengths and weaknesses of the four teams that will compete this Saturday at the Smart Araneta Coliseum.
That’s why we will not do any of those.
Instead, this Final Four mega preview is as deep as Kim Chiu’s songs. This is as useful as chopsticks with soup. This has Ghost Fighter references just because it also has four main characters (sue us, Master Jericho fans!). This is a sentence that you just read.
(1) UP FIGHTING MAROONS vs (4) ATENEO BLUE EAGLES
Movie that best describes the match-up: Shake, Rattle & Roll IV: Kapitbahay
Released in 1992 as part of the popular horror franchise of Regal Films, it’s about a monster named Witawit abducting children in a neighborhood. A nine-year-old Aiza Seguerra tried to rescue them.
It has totally nothing in connection with this Final Four duel except that it has "kapitbahay" in the title. Because you know, UP and Ateneo are neighbors in Katipunan. Let's not make it profound. Kayo na bahala mag-away-away kung sino ‘yung monster.
Random things about the Fighting Maroons that may or may not be important
Record: 12-2
Record if only the UST Growling Tigers were so much better: 10-4
Secret weapon: Extra virgin olive oil
Popular slang when the Fighting Maroons last won the UAAP title (2022): Forda ferson
Use it in a sentence: Forda win ang ferson na si JD Cagulangan nung Game 3.
Forgotten ex-Fighting Maroon just because: Vicmel Epres
Rejected UP cheer idea: “Padamihan na lang ng nagja-jogging sa campus kapag weekend!”
How to get to Smart Araneta Coliseum from UP: Ride jeep to Petron. Take the LRT from Katipunan Station. Get off at Cubao Station. Eat at Siomai House.
Why UP is like Dennis/Kurama from Ghost Fighter: Naka-maroon eh.
ALSO READ: School Spirit: UP starting five among active players in PBA
Random things about the Blue Eagles that may or may not be important
Record: 7-7
Record if only the UST Growling Tigers were so much better: 5-9
Secret weapon: Friendship bracelet of coach Tab Baldwin and coach Nash Racela
Popular slang when the Blue Eagles last won the UAAP title (2023): Eme
Use it in a sentence: Akala ng UP champion ulit sila last season, eme lang pala.
Forgotten ex-Blue Eagle just because: Zion Laterre
Rejected Ateneo cheer idea: “Never surrender! Let no man put asunder! Let no man plunder! Like our top high school alumnus Joseph Estrada!”
How to get to Smart Araneta Coliseum from Ateneo: Magpahatid sa driver.
Why is Ateneo like Alfred/Kazuma from Ghost Fighter: Naka-blue eh.
ALSO READ: School Spirit: Ateneo starting five among active players in PBA
(2) DE LA SALLE GREEN ARCHERS vs (3) NU BULLDOGS
Movie that best describes the match-up: Past Lives
In the highly acclaimed romantic-drama film, Na Young and Hae Sung were childhood sweethearts from school. Then they didn’t see each other again until 12 years later. After that, they stopped seeing each other again until 12 years later. They only saw each other twice. Then they went their separate ways.
*nagpahid ng luha*
La Salle and NU met in the Final Four for the first time in 2001 (also NU’s maiden semifinals stint). They didn’t see each other again until—THIS SATURDAY (capital letters for kilig)! Yep, it will only be the second time that the Green Archers and the Bulldogs will meet in the Final Four. And just like the protagonists in Past Lives, they will go their separate ways. One in Taft, one in—wherever NU is.
Random things about the Green Archers that may or may not be important
Record: 11-3
Record if only the UST Growling Tigers were so much better: 9-5
Secret weapon: Bigote ni Kevin Quiambao
Popular slang when the Green Archers last won the UAAP title (2016): Pak ganern!
Use it in a sentence: Hindi sana umalis si Ben Mbala kung tumigil kayo sa kaka-pak ganern.
Forgotten ex-Green Archer just because: Bader Malabes
Rejected La Salle cheer idea (nahirapan kasi sa sagot): “D-L-S-U! What does it spell?”
How to get to Smart Araneta Coliseum from La Salle: Ride UV Express from Buendia going to Cubao. Get off at Cubao. Walk to Starbucks. Make tambay for four hours. Watch the game.
Why is La Salle like Eugene/Yusuke from Ghost Fighter: Naka-green eh.
ALSO READ: School Spirit: La Salle starting five among active players in PBA
Random things about the Bulldogs that may or may not be important
Record: 10-4
Record if only the UST Growling Tigers were so much better: 8-6
Secret weapon: Savemore Turon
Popular slang when the Bulldogs last won the UAAP title (2014): Boom panes!
Use it in a sentence: Wala kayong kakilala na nag-aral/nag-aaral sa NU pero nag-champion pa rin—boom panes!
Forgotten ex-Bulldog just because: Jerome Tungcul
Rejected NU cheer idea: “Come on in, look at what we got / There so much more and such a lot / Here at NU, we got it all / We got it all / Lots of excitements and bargains and fun / We got it all / Winning convenience for everyone / At NU, it’s all at NU / Here at NU, we’ve got it all for you!”
How to get to Smart Araneta Coliseum from NU: ???
Why is NU like Vincent/Hiei from Ghost Fighter: Siya na lang natira sa apat na bida.
ALSO READ: School Spirit: NU starting five among active players in PBA
Fans are surely excited for the Final Four. We could practically hear them shouting: Tapusin! Tapusin!
Catch the Final Four live this Saturday starting at 2 p.m. on One Sports, the UAAP Varsity Channel, and the Pilipinas Live app.